Another Word

I just realized that I never posted this - from over a month ago. Here it is!

Due to recent events in the life of a loved one - I've come up with another interesting word.

Engaged - As in engaged to be married. But really, why engaged - engaged in what? I would hope that if two people are getting engaged, they were engaged in each other before that happened, right? I mean - theoretically if someone came up to you and asked how you are, you could say "engaged". That could mean engaged in this ridiculous paper I have to write today, engaged in eating this delicious meal I have in front of me or engaged to be married. I mean, there are all sorts of things that I'm "engaged" with at any given moment. It just seems like an interesting way to label something like that. I guess I've always thought of engaged as something that is currently happening - engaged in something right in front of you, not in something that is supposed to happen sometime down the road.

That's all.

I guess I will add on here, for the sake of a friend, that one should not be embarrassed or shamed by silly things you don't realize. I mean, I didn't know a cucumber and pickle were the same thing. Really? Really.

Lose Weight, Buy Bigger Clothes or Stop Complaining

So I have a paper due tomorrow and since I'm at the library instead of at my house, I can't put off my writing with cleaning (which is how I normally procrastinate), so I decided to write here instead!

I was on the phone earlier this evening discussing the concept of guilt and happiness. While my conversation was brief, my thoughts on the topic still continue. I find it fascinating that guilt is(most often) self-inflicted. It's easy to say - if you are going to feel guilty about something, don't do it. Yeah, whatever. We all still make mistakes. That's what makes us human. Very often less focused on is the concept that guilt relief and even happiness is also self-inflicted. When we carry around guilt (or anger, or frustration, or any other negative feeling), more often than not, it is in our power to change it. If we feel guilty because of something we did, we should talk to who we need to talk to about it. If we feel guilty because we are lying to a friend, we should tell our friend what we're hiding from them. We have a whole slew of reasons for NOT resolving guilt - it's going to hurt, it might hurt someone else, don't want to face the consequences. Whatever. Reasons, excuses, call them what you will. The bottom line is that at the end of the day, those reasons are the wall between our guilt and our happiness. We're so willing to hold on to our guilt and anger and complain about how horrible things are, but we don't do anything about it. No one can fix the problem for us. It's completely in our control. Besides, more often than not, even if there is a little pain, the light on the other side is brighter than it was before.

Sage advice that I've received - consider the following questions (compliments of ogobob):

1. What's the problem?
2. What are doing to fix it?
3. How's that working for you?

I mean it really is as straightforward as that. What's going on? Why do you feel guilty (or sad or angry...)? What are you doing about it? If you're not doing anything - don't talk to me because I don't want to hear it. It's like girls (or boys, I suppose) who sit and complain about how fat they look in the pants they have on. Well, lose weight, buy bigger clothes, or stop complaining. Seriously? Moving right along, how's it working? In the health field we focus a lot of time and energy on evaluation. There is no sense creating policy or implementing programs that you aren't going to evaluate, because then you're pouring resources into something that may or may not work. In the case of guilt or anger, a little self-reflection goes a long way. If it's not working, change your course of action. If it is working - kudos to you! Just keep swimming!

High points:

• Most often guilt is self-inflicted.
• More often the cure is also in our control.
• Do something about it. Make a choice and MOVE A DIRECTION, even if it is the wrong one. The good news is you can always choose again to turn around.
• Happiness is a choice. Make it.

A Shift...But Not Too Far

So I decided that while this blog still won't contain the most personal information about me, there's no reason it shouldn't be a way for people to keep up with me and what I do. I can't promise that there will be anything exciting (I mean...all I do is go to school) but maybe I'll have a story or two now and then.

Rest assured that my ridiculous realizations, etc. will continue to be posted. Here's a few, just for good measure!

1st - I just learned during the Texas-OU game why Gatorade is called Gatorade - Florida, Gators, help with sports, yeah...I know, everyone knows that.

2nd - When my mother was here she informed me that the beautiful colors of fall are the actual color of the leaves, but without chlorophyll. Don't get me wrong, I knew chlorophyll made things green, I guess I just didn't put two and two together (or didn't put chlorophyll and green leaves together..) Anyway, if we didn't have chlorophyll making everything so green, it could look like fall all the time. Too bad trees need energy to live!

3rd - Emo...is this short for emotional? If so, why are people so excited about being "so emo" - I think that isn't necessarily a good thing, but I guess it all depends on perspective!

4th - For a friend....QWERTY keyboard. Come on, even I knew that one :)

That Person

So this weekend I realized that I am that person. You know, the one you get frustrated with at the store because they are completely oblivious to everything around you. The one that is driving down the road in front of you, going a steady 5 miles under the speed limit. The one you are walking behind when all the sudden they just stop in the middle of the pedestrian traffic. The one that cuts you off and crosses 2 lanes of traffic to take an exit they already practically missed. Maybe it's the one who merges into your lane after going straight to light and "didn't realize it was a turn only lane". The one that really makes you angry when you're in a hurry, have something to do or somewhere to be.

I am that person.

Last week I was driving and the woman in front of me was driving at the most steady pace (and below the speed limit between 5-10 miles per hour). I was on my way home and for whatever reason I really wanted to be there. I certainly wasn't going to be late for anything if I didn't get there in the next 2 minutes. Besides, this place is not big so it wasn't like I was in the car for a long time or had very far to go. For some reason I was super frustrated by the fact that she wasn't driving any faster. Maybe it was just that I didn't like that she was controlling my speed and what I was doing. On the one lane road there was no way to go around her and there was no other way to go to my house from where I was except this one road I was on. When another lane opened up and she veered left and I was going right it was a huge relief and I'm sure there was even a vocal "Finally! Thank goodness. Geez." or something to that effect.

This past weekend I found myself driving down the same exact road. It was late in the evening and I was tired. It had been a long weekend and I was just kind of dazed. I had a lot on my mind and there was a lot kind of weighing on me. I happened to look down and realize that I was going a steady 5 miles below the speed limit. I looked in my rear view mirror and noticed there were a few cars behind me. The car directly behind wasn't riding my tail or anything like that (obviously much more patient than I am). It was at this moment that I realized it.

I am that person.

In our moments, we are all guilty of being that person. It kind of reminded me of the whole behavioral determinant thing (see earlier post titled "Retrospective Blog #1). Now in the same vein of that thought, instead of just thinking about what a person may be going through, imagine that you are that person and how you would like for other people to react to you. Would you like to see the failing arms in your rear view mirror? What about the huge sigh and eye roll as someone pushes past you? How about the horn and dirty look? Probably not. But you know what? There are some times when you do *almost* miss your exit and have to cross a few more lanes of traffic than what is legal (maybe you're on your way to the temple and running late...anyone remember that?). It may happen that you are in a new city and you really didn't know it was a turn only lane (or one way street...oops).

Anyway, the point of the story is that I realized that I am that person. Everyone is that person. Be more patient...you are dealing with yourself and trust me, that's the worst.

Rock and Roll Band Everybody's Waitin...

Don't get me wrong...I am not that old. Still, it makes me sad that to the younger generation, classic rock bands - like The Who, Led Zeppelin, Eagles, Boston, Journey, Def Leppard, Van Halen, Aerosmith...just to name a few -

To young kids, these bands are made "Legends of Rock" by their Guitar Hero games.

Little do they realize that these rock and roll bands made Guitar Hero.

Punk kids.