Is This Really Who We Are?

I was completely appalled reading a NY Times article about a Wal-Mart employee who was trampled to death by Black Friday shoppers - read about it here. The article said at least four other people, including a woman who is eight months pregnant, were taken to the hospital for injuries and observation. Even when the shoppers were told they had to leave because an employee had been killed, they refused, saying they had been in line since Thursday morning - they kept shopping.

In one of my classes we've been talking a lot about the current state of our nation with regard to health care systems and political reform. We have been studying other countries with universal health care and discussing what would/wouldn't work in the US. One of the biggest themes we always come back to in class is the fact that Americans are very individualized and as much as we want the good of everyone around us, we don't care if the guy down the street is sick and why should I have to pay for his care? Sidebar: That was a generalization - obviously not everyone is like this, but generally speaking, Americans are more individually centered than population centered. Further statements made about the "American people" are also generalizations. That being said, we've discussed the fact that there would have to be a great mentality and attitude shift before we get to the point where we really care about everyone in this great country and the common good for all. We have to get to the point where there really is the family feel that you can find in some communities, but not necessarily for the country as a whole. Yes, we were all more patriotic after 9/11 and other events that have tried our country, but we still have a long way to go. A lot of the opposition to unity stems from the very nature of our country. We are a melting pot society - it's one of defining points for our nation. That being said, our population is much more heterogeneous - in culture, religion, ethnicity, even language - than countries like Taiwan or Japan. We may be founded on tradition and core values like others, but they are a far more homogeneous people than we. That is something that may be our greatest strength and our greatest weakness. We have to be able to accept that and work with it if we ever expect any sort of change in this country.

Back to the article. I find this a perfect[ly ridiculous] example of the individualistic nature of the American people. So concerned with saving maybe a couple hundred dollars on a new TV or a vacuum that they sacrifice the life of human being, with complete disregard to that individual's worth. Maybe it's because we just care about ourselves, maybe it's because of the materialism of today's society. Whatever it is, I think it's terribly depressing. It may be cliché, but we're only as strong as our weakest link - is this really the type of people that we are?

So Close

This time of year is always the "best of times and the worst of times", at least for me. I love the holidays - I love the spirit of the season, the Christmas music, what it represents, the emphasis on family, and the fact that people decide to be nicer and more generous just because it's the holidays. On the other end of the spectrum is the fact that the year is coming to a close, which means the end of another semester of school. These next three weeks are typically loaded with papers, projects, tests, and what ever other manner of punishment our professors desire to inflict upon us. It's typically a pretty stressful time - you're trying so hard to enjoy the season, but trying to hold your pants up and keep everything together.

My holiday season had a wonderful start. Thanksgiving was such a joy and it was blessing to spend it with people who care, people I care about who were so loving and generous to me. Here's to a wonderful holiday season. May we all be able to hold it together enough to really understand what this time of year is all about! I'll be trying my hardest...I mean, after I stop procrastinating and start working on my stats project due Monday :)

Gas

I filled up my gas tank for less than $30.00 yesterday ($1.67/gallon)!

I thought this was blog-worthy, especially since when I moved to Bloomington gas was about $4.25/gallon. Good times. :)

Giving of Thanks

So I know that it's not quite Thanksgiving yet, but it's close enough. I can't believe it's already that time! This semester has been so short and quick, but so long and slow at the same time. Anyway - that's not what this is about.

I love Thanksgiving. I've always loved Thanksgiving. There is no giving of gifts, only giving of thanks. Any gift giving that does occur is typically donations of food or other items to those in need and you can't go wrong with that. I like Thanksgiving because it's a good time to step back and reflect on what really matters in life. What are you really grateful for? In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'd like to share just a few things that I am exceedingly grateful for.

First, opportunity. I am so blessed to be here in Indiana and going to school. I think sometimes people see college and even grad school as so commonplace and even expected. Yet for plenty of people, it is merely a dream. I'm thankful for the chance to get a quality education - first from Texas A&M and now here at IU. There have been so many things and people that have played a crucial role in my being here today - you know who you are and I'm grateful for you.

Second, freedom. The world today isn't the happiest place. What a relief it is to know that I live in a place where I have the freedom to form my own values and beliefs, the freedom to do what is best for me. Although some might argue the role of government in our lives today, there are places far worse off than we are in here in America. We don't have our lives, our actions and our beliefs dictated to us or for us - we have the freedom to choose. What a blessing that is!

Third, experiences. I've had plenty of them in my young age - some more trying than others. I'm thankful for the good and for the bad. The bad have made the good more meaningful and the good have made the bad more tolerable. I may complain when I'm going through a tough time, but I usually come out a better and stronger person when it's all over. My trials have absolutely shaped who I am today.

Finally, I am grateful for family. My family is funny. We've had our good times and we've had our not-so-good times, but through it all we're still a family. I still feel the support from my parents and each and every one of my siblings. They are always there to laugh at me when I need it and to love me when I need it. When everything goes terribly wrong in life, I know I still have a place in my family. I know if I go home I'll always be welcomed with open arms. I could have made this about family & friends, but the unconditional friends I have can fit into the family category - all the descriptors are the same.

The list could go on and on really. There are so many things I am grateful for and so many things I have been blessed with. I'm grateful for Thanksgiving - and even though I won't be at home this year, it doesn't change the spirit of the season and my giving of thanks.

In My Element

A friend of mine posted this on her blog and I loved the idea...so I'm borrowing it!

I am most in my element when...

• driving with the windows down and it's about 70 degrees without a cloud in the sky.
• curled up on the couch or a big chair with a good book.
• laying in the sun by the pool or on a beach.
• having a good dinner (or lunch, or any other meal - any way food is involved) with good friends or family.
• teaching and/or learning.
• listening to music with real meaning.
• surrounded by beautiful trees of all different colors.
• engrossed in meaningful conversation with someone who really knows me & who I really know.
• spending time with my family, whatever we may be doing.
• running - even if it kills me.
• scrapbooking for hours on end while watching House.
• doing anything with people I care about, who care about me, making memories I'll hold on to forever.
• helping other people.
• trying something new, experiencing change.

When are you most in your element? Think about it. Make time for those things. It's worth it.

The Power of Silence

While my last post was all about communication, I have to say that I am equally in awe of the power of silence. For many people, silence is awkward. It makes things uncomfortable. Leaving things unsaid is like ignoring a 600 pound gorilla in the corner. It increases tension. Me? I've always loved silence. Probably because it was what I knew. It was what made me feel comfortable. Knowing that all my thoughts and feelings were tucked safe inside. I appreciate silence for a couple reasons.

First, silence gives you the opportunity for evaluation. So often we are always caught up in saying, speaking, yelling, sharing, that we don't really take the time to think about what we say or the effects it may have. We want other people to listen to what we have to say, but we don't listen to what we have to say. How often do people speak without thinking? Take 30 seconds the next time you're about to say something even mildly important - you'd be surprised what it might change.

Also, silence allows other people to gather their own thoughts and opinions. Again, so often we are caught up in telling people what we think and wanting them to respond. Instantly. A little silence gives people the chance to figure out how they really feel. What they really think.

Silence forces you to confront your thoughts and your feelings in the most raw form - before they have been tempered and exposed. Being able to sit in silence, to me, shows that a person is comfortable with themselves, who they are, what they believe in, and the thoughts and emotions that run through them.

Finally, silence provides an atmosphere conducive to inspiration and self-reflection. Some of my most poignant thoughts or ideas typically come when I am not speaking - it may be 2:00 in the morning, it may be driving down the road (this one happens a lot). In this Information Age, people are constantly connected. When you walk out of a class, a meeting, or work, what is the first thing you do? Pull out your cell phone? When you get in the car - can you make it from one place to the next without calling someone? Without turning on the radio or the news? When you wake up in the morning and you're getting ready for your day, do you have the TV on? Music? Don't get me wrong...I love to listen to music, watch TV and I have been accused of attachment to my CrackBerry, but I see great value in putting that all on hold and just enjoying the silence. I find myself driving without music or talking on the phone a great deal and I thoroughly enjoy it. Long road trips, for me, are not an opportunity to catch up with all the people I've been meaning to call, but I've just been too busy. It's a time to roll the windows down and listen to music (which is an activity my mind and I actively participate in). It's a time to drive without any distraction and think about life (and random signs on the side on the road and things like horsepower...see "Interesting Words" and/or "Signs on the Road"). See - my times of silence provide a great opportunity for enlightenment :)

The point is this: as much as I value the power of communication and have a new found appreciation for sharing, I equally value the great power of silence. It's oh so necessary in my life and if I don't get it from time to time I'm an outright disaster.

The Power of Communication

So a lot has been going on these past few weeks and its given me an opportunity to spend a significant amount of time reflecting - on all sorts of things. I was driving home from class this evening when I was struck by a realization about the absolute power of communication.

Communication has never really been one of my strong suits. Well, I take that back. I feel I'm a good communicator - when I want to be. The real point is that I haven't always wanted to be. I've mentioned before my trust issues (see "To Blog or Not To Blog...") and that contributed a great deal to my lack of communication. I had an aversion to really letting people know how I was feeling. I didn't really have a problem telling people what I thought and I was usually pretty open with my opinions, but never my feelings. I've been actively trying to do a better job talking things out and really communicating with other people and it's made a huge difference in my life. I am so much more content and oh my gosh does it make it easier to solve problems! Who would have thought?!? It actually makes conflict resolution must faster and much smoother. I knew this all along, in fact, I even advised it to friends. I would always encourage a good discussion to really let the other person know how you feel and also how you see things. So often we get angry with others around us for not understanding or being sensitive to how we feel or what we need. Well, did we tell them? Did you tell him/her exactly what you wanted or how you felt? I find that it's most common with people that we care about the deepest that we hold things in. For me it was always about protecting myself. Protecting my feelings. Protecting the other person's feelings. Not wanting to admit to myself or someone else what I was really going through. It made it "easier" to keep it to myself and deal with it on my own. Well, as a past Sally Stuffer (does anyone remember those people from elementary school talking about feelings?), I'm the first to admit that it doesn't do anyone any good. Including you (or me). It only makes it harder in the end.

Not that I'm an expert on the situation, I believe there are 3 essential Rules to Remember for quality communication:

1. Listen - Shut your mouth and open your ears. If you get to share your side, the other party has a right to share their side. Besides, you'd be surprised what you can learn when you listen.
2. Be Patient - Don't interrupt...you'll get your turn.
3. Try to Understand - You may not agree with everything that someone else says, but at least try to see where they're coming from

If you listen, be patient and try to understand, I'd venture to say that you'll find a common ground somewhere along the way. I think it's fascinating that communication is something that we participate in all day, every day. I'm sure may of us take it for granted - I know I do. The more time I've spent reflecting on what it means and the enormous impact that it can have, I've become more grateful for the ability I have to communicate with others. I see the power in it. The power to love, the power to hurt, the power to change, and the power to heal.

I've also found that now that I've started this whole communication thing and sharing my feelings...I'm kind of addicted. I guess there are worse things in life.