Deciding

We had a great talk today in church about deciding. In life we struggle when we do things we shouldn't and when we don't do things we should. Our bishop (the leader of our church congregation) spoke about his role as a leader and the fact that it is usually pretty clear when people come to talk to him if they have decided to change. He talked about our trials and the times that we struggle and suggested that the first step to change is simply deciding where we stand. 

Obviously the difficulties we face when we are doing something we shouldn't or not doing something we should are multi-faceted, but he was so encouraging. Thinking about it now, it sounds so simple: just decide what you want to do, who you want to be, and do it. Or decide that you don't want to do something and don't do it. He talked about the idea that The Lord knows our heart and our desires. We can't trick Him. When we righteously decide to change, we are blessed and lifted up by His power and the power of the atonement. That doesn't make the problem go away, but it puts Him on our side and gives us the power to overcome our weakness. But first, we have to desire and decide to change. 

It's so easy to get caught up in the critical judgement of ourselves and others. It's easy to tear ourselves down when we aren't perfect. I fall victim to feeling inadequate if I am anywhere short of perfection in what I set of my expectations or what I perceive are the expectations of others. The message today was a great reminder that none of those expectations really matter. At the end of the day, it is up to us to decide what we want to do and who we want to be. It is hard to make changes in your life if you haven't decided, if you don't believe in it, it's nearly impossible. Once you do finally decide, the ride gets more bearable and sometimes even easier. 

He shared this poem:

HIGHWAY or LOW 

To every man there openeth, A way, and ways, and a way, 

And the high soul climbs the high way, And the low soul gropes the low, 

And in between, on the misty flats, The rest drift to and fro. 

But to every man there openeth, A highway, and a low. 

And every man decideth, The way his soul shall go. 

We are faced with choices daily. Knowing who we are and deciding what we want to do makes all of those choices easier to make. 

I have a lot of deciding to do!

 

I Just Might Do It

As I was not sleeping this evening, I was reading back through this blog that I used to write. I wrote a lot of silly and pointless things, but it was also fun to re-read and remember a lot of wonderful things! A lot has happened since my last post (2+ years ago...go figure)! I couldn't begin to go back and make up for all of those lost moments - I'm sure I have them recorded elsewhere (or do I??...probably not). Regardless, reading through my old posts, I was grateful for the lessons and feelings I did capture. Grateful for the written memories to remind me of some lovely people and extraordinary events. It made me wish I had kept up with this over the years. Now don't get too excited (all of the non-existent people that don't read this blog) - I certainly can't over commit to picking it right back up with any consistency. News flash: I got married and got 2 babies that are now nearly 9 months old. Between family and work, there is little time for everything else (including laundry and cleaning, but unfortunately those are necessary evils). However, I do have an inkling of a desire to start writing again. I'm probably not nearly as funny or enlightened (if I ever was) now that I'm "old" and boring. I suppose if I'm only writing for me, then it doesn't much matter. 

I just might do it....

But don't hold your breath.  

Please.