Lose Weight, Buy Bigger Clothes or Stop Complaining

So I have a paper due tomorrow and since I'm at the library instead of at my house, I can't put off my writing with cleaning (which is how I normally procrastinate), so I decided to write here instead!

I was on the phone earlier this evening discussing the concept of guilt and happiness. While my conversation was brief, my thoughts on the topic still continue. I find it fascinating that guilt is(most often) self-inflicted. It's easy to say - if you are going to feel guilty about something, don't do it. Yeah, whatever. We all still make mistakes. That's what makes us human. Very often less focused on is the concept that guilt relief and even happiness is also self-inflicted. When we carry around guilt (or anger, or frustration, or any other negative feeling), more often than not, it is in our power to change it. If we feel guilty because of something we did, we should talk to who we need to talk to about it. If we feel guilty because we are lying to a friend, we should tell our friend what we're hiding from them. We have a whole slew of reasons for NOT resolving guilt - it's going to hurt, it might hurt someone else, don't want to face the consequences. Whatever. Reasons, excuses, call them what you will. The bottom line is that at the end of the day, those reasons are the wall between our guilt and our happiness. We're so willing to hold on to our guilt and anger and complain about how horrible things are, but we don't do anything about it. No one can fix the problem for us. It's completely in our control. Besides, more often than not, even if there is a little pain, the light on the other side is brighter than it was before.

Sage advice that I've received - consider the following questions (compliments of ogobob):

1. What's the problem?
2. What are doing to fix it?
3. How's that working for you?

I mean it really is as straightforward as that. What's going on? Why do you feel guilty (or sad or angry...)? What are you doing about it? If you're not doing anything - don't talk to me because I don't want to hear it. It's like girls (or boys, I suppose) who sit and complain about how fat they look in the pants they have on. Well, lose weight, buy bigger clothes, or stop complaining. Seriously? Moving right along, how's it working? In the health field we focus a lot of time and energy on evaluation. There is no sense creating policy or implementing programs that you aren't going to evaluate, because then you're pouring resources into something that may or may not work. In the case of guilt or anger, a little self-reflection goes a long way. If it's not working, change your course of action. If it is working - kudos to you! Just keep swimming!

High points:

• Most often guilt is self-inflicted.
• More often the cure is also in our control.
• Do something about it. Make a choice and MOVE A DIRECTION, even if it is the wrong one. The good news is you can always choose again to turn around.
• Happiness is a choice. Make it.