The Power of Communication

So a lot has been going on these past few weeks and its given me an opportunity to spend a significant amount of time reflecting - on all sorts of things. I was driving home from class this evening when I was struck by a realization about the absolute power of communication.

Communication has never really been one of my strong suits. Well, I take that back. I feel I'm a good communicator - when I want to be. The real point is that I haven't always wanted to be. I've mentioned before my trust issues (see "To Blog or Not To Blog...") and that contributed a great deal to my lack of communication. I had an aversion to really letting people know how I was feeling. I didn't really have a problem telling people what I thought and I was usually pretty open with my opinions, but never my feelings. I've been actively trying to do a better job talking things out and really communicating with other people and it's made a huge difference in my life. I am so much more content and oh my gosh does it make it easier to solve problems! Who would have thought?!? It actually makes conflict resolution must faster and much smoother. I knew this all along, in fact, I even advised it to friends. I would always encourage a good discussion to really let the other person know how you feel and also how you see things. So often we get angry with others around us for not understanding or being sensitive to how we feel or what we need. Well, did we tell them? Did you tell him/her exactly what you wanted or how you felt? I find that it's most common with people that we care about the deepest that we hold things in. For me it was always about protecting myself. Protecting my feelings. Protecting the other person's feelings. Not wanting to admit to myself or someone else what I was really going through. It made it "easier" to keep it to myself and deal with it on my own. Well, as a past Sally Stuffer (does anyone remember those people from elementary school talking about feelings?), I'm the first to admit that it doesn't do anyone any good. Including you (or me). It only makes it harder in the end.

Not that I'm an expert on the situation, I believe there are 3 essential Rules to Remember for quality communication:

1. Listen - Shut your mouth and open your ears. If you get to share your side, the other party has a right to share their side. Besides, you'd be surprised what you can learn when you listen.
2. Be Patient - Don't interrupt...you'll get your turn.
3. Try to Understand - You may not agree with everything that someone else says, but at least try to see where they're coming from

If you listen, be patient and try to understand, I'd venture to say that you'll find a common ground somewhere along the way. I think it's fascinating that communication is something that we participate in all day, every day. I'm sure may of us take it for granted - I know I do. The more time I've spent reflecting on what it means and the enormous impact that it can have, I've become more grateful for the ability I have to communicate with others. I see the power in it. The power to love, the power to hurt, the power to change, and the power to heal.

I've also found that now that I've started this whole communication thing and sharing my feelings...I'm kind of addicted. I guess there are worse things in life.